Haiku Friday: pms payback

note: i wrote this before i know there was theme for Haiku Friday this week. please forgive me, but i needed to vent about being a woman. i will be sure to follow the theme next time.

i was so lucky
no pms to speak of
never had a cramp

been told no mood swings
no bloating or discomfort
but it wouldn’t last

come back to bite me
with these head-splitting migraines
payback, you’re a BITCH!

is was so lucky, and i took it for granted. and oh, am i paying for it now!

i went through high school never having been bothered by my period…other than the inconvenience of the bulky pads available in the late 80’s. mind you, every once in a while i would feel a little nauseated on the first day, but that’s it. and this continued through my 20s and early 30s. okay…i can here you yelling nasty names at me….just get it out of your system now so i can proceed with my pity party story.

i’ve been told that i don’t have mood swings during that time of the month. hubby even asked me after we’d been living together for about a year if i would plot my cycles on the calendar so he would know when i was having it because he couldn’t tell…just so he would know when it was appropriate to try and put the moves on me.

when i was late in my pregnancy with Zander, i asked my doctor what contractions would feel like when they started. she told me they would feel like period cramps. i told her i’d never had any. by the look on her face, she thought i was lying. seriously people…never. one. cramp.

well, i’m now paying for all those carefree years. about 7 months ago i started getting migraines with my cycle. they start either the day before or on the first day of my period. they last anywhere from 2-4 days. and they are excruciating. i’m talking jam-something-sharp-through-my-eye-socket-and-into-my-brain-and-then-wiggle-it-around in-there kind of pain.

during these migraines, i can hardly take care of the boys, let alone myself. i never knew how noisy they were until each little sound felt like a cleaver cutting into my skull. or how much light the curtains in the living room still let through when they’re closed. or how many toys we have that make all types of seizure inducing noise. or how fucking bright this laptop monitor is!

this whole thing has forced me to not make plans anywhere near my expected monthly. unfortunately, my crystal ball isn’t always clear.

as some of you know, i am a big time paper-crafter and card-maker, and am a Stampin’ Up! demonstrator to make a little cash to support my hobby. in recent months, i have lost my passion. i’m trying to get it back, because when i’m doing it i am so happy. damn ppd.

anyhoo, a few months ago i signed up to attend a convention in Ottawa for Canadian demonstrators. i’ve been so excited about it…until last week when i realized it landed at the start of my cycle. the convention is tomorrow. sure enough, my period started yesterday…and so did my migraine. i’ve been trying to complete some cards for a swap i’m going to be participating in tomorrow, while my head is threatening to split in half and my eyeballs feel like they are liquifying.

this is the second day of my migraine, and i’m praying that i will wake up tomorrow and it will be gone. but i’m not holding out too much hope.

oh payback…you are a cold-hearted bitch!

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10 Responses to Haiku Friday: pms payback

  1. oh EW, hon!!! migraines are the pits. i’m so sorry!

  2. rachel says:

    Oh damn. I’m sorry, that sucks. My periods were always easy before kids, now after the second, they’re hell.
    I don’t get migraines, but they still suck.

    I didn’t ‘theme’ the haiku this week either.
    Hope you get better!!

  3. Yertle says:

    So sorry. I am still waiting the first after second child period. i hope it turns out ok. Saw this article about Mastering Migranes.


  4. melissaz says:

    I am so with you.

    I had no problems until about 2 years ago and then OMG!

    Hang in there for the convention. Alleve works wonders!

  5. anglophilefootballfanatic says:

    What meds do the doctors have you on? Cause I also suffered from migraines with hormonal shifts from the period. Email me.

  6. Kimberly says:

    Oh honey! Ouchie! I’ll take cramps and moodswings over migraines any day!

  7. Kathryn says:

    Ugh. I am so sorry. Migranes are a bitch! The worst! I’ve had a total of about 15 in my life, and that is more than enough. I always get them with hormonal shift too. Early in pregnancy or beginning of periods. Sucks!
    I hope your hormones can adjust properly so that you don’t have to suffer through them anymore.

  8. laura says:

    That just sucks…for my period migraines I take advil migraine WITH cola…the caffine helps me!

    Are you in Ottawa??? If you are visiting this fair town of mine, HELLO…WELCOME…hope you have a great conference and the migraine lessens.

  9. Have you looked into any dietary possibilities that might make the headaches so bad for you during PMS?

    I swear, thirties and approaching thirties completely changes a woman’s period. It sucks really. You plan for headaches, I plan for gas so painful it hurts to sit. sigh…

  10. melinda says:

    i’m glad to see you are back in the business of blogging…just when i found your site you disappeared.

    i am totally jealous, for i have been a stark raving bitch four days a month for about twenty years. never had a migraine, though….so i am feeling for you in a big way.

    my husband, when he gets one, allows himself to take the entire afternoon or whatever off, come home, get into bed and have no responsibilities whatsoever till it goes away. ain’t life grand???

    hang in there….