when i was looking through my archives for something to post for Scrolling Saturday, i saw this post and new it was the one. it’s the perfect post to follow yesterday’s haiku about how serious my blog has been lately. enjoy!
*** the following post was originally published on July 12th, 2007. ***
After all of the doom and gloom posts of late, what with all the shit that’s been going on here, I thought it was time for some much needed comic relief…and my son Zander was more than happy to oblige.
Allow me to set the scene. It was bath time last night. Carlos had already run the bath, and everything was ready. As usual, we brought both of the boys upstairs into Zander’s room to strip them down for their bath. Zander was stripped down first. Then it was Logan’s turn. That’s when our noses were hit with something so foul…and that foulness was Logan’s diaper.
Carlos: Aw, man! Logan! How can someone so cute smell so bad?
Logan: A ba da….pfpfpfpfpfpfp (I’m not sure how to translate this, but as far as I can tell it means something like “Ha! That’s what you get for feeding me turkey stew for dinner, old man!”)
Carlos: [cough] [weeze] [cough] Maybe we should put a diaper on Zander until Logan is ready for the bath…??? [cough] This might take a while to clean up…..[choke]
Me: He should be okay….Zander…do you have to go pee?
Me: Are you sure?
Zander: No pee pee….
Me: Do you want to go on the potty?
Zander: Pott’! No no pee pee….
Me: Okay….but tell mommy if you have to pee on the potty.
Carlos: I can hardly breathe…this is so nasty! Yak!
Me: Do you need help?
Carlos: No…I got it…
Me: Good…’cause I didn’t really want to help you anyway! [smirk]
Carlos: Ummm…..honey? What’s that sound?
Me: (I turn around to find the source of said sound) Why that’s your son peeing into the heating vent, dear!
Zander: Pee! Pee! I pee pee!
Me: Yes, Zander…you peed…all over the floor and in the vent…
Zander: I wet!
Me: Yes, Zander…you’re wet…and so is the floor….and the heating ducts….
Carlos: Here’s a receiving blanket…use this….(he throws it over to me)
I start wiping it up….
Zander: (he takes a step back to watch me clean up his mess….and starts to pee again) Pee pee!
Me: (laughing hysterically) Yes, Zander….you’re peeing….
Zander: (nodding in agreement) I PEE!
We all had a good laugh. We needed that…
I am so thankful that there are wood floors in his room, and that a warm bath was waiting for them just a few feet down the hallway!